Within this sensitive topic, you will often find Christians with the viewpoint that pornography has zero place within a marriage. I believe such a stance is definitely positive, however, is it really a moral, right and wrong issue?
See the four faces to the right? I think this picture captures it all, if you know who they are. The top row is Monique Alexander and "Porn King" Ron Jeremy, while the lower row is Anti-Porn Pastor's Donny Pauling and Craig Gross from XXX Church.Com
If one spouse finds it very offensive, it would be wise in such a circumstance for the other spouse to put aside pornography to be one with your spouse. As scripture says in Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it". However, if say your spouse is attempting to manipulate you by not having sex with you for long periods of time and then telling you that you are sinning by watching pornography, it would seem the spouse denying sex is doing a greater evil. And in such cases, I would say the spouse denying sex is the one who is sinning first and foremost. As Jesus said in Matthew 7:3 "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?". For, in our culture, I have found feminism has crept into the doors of the church and I am under the impression that the church embraces feminism just as much or even more so than the world.
In our culture, it seems these days only men can do evil. If you look at the laws in some states, such as Michigan, if a call was put into a police station over some domestic situation, the standard protocol is to automatically arrest the man, no matter what is occuring.. Even if the man was the one who called the police! Something quite amazing, to where, it isn't about equal rights anymore, but rather that men are by default the reason for failed marriages, domestic problems, etc. Men are guilty until proven innocent and women are innocent until proven guilty.
I mention this, because it is also the thinking of many Christians these days that if a man is watching pornography that somehow, he is 100% to blame and that the wife, abstaining from having sex with her husband on purpose is not only permissible, but somehow men are required to accept this.. Even though, this "idea" is directly contrary to scripture, as can be seen in this passage: 1 Corinthians 7:5 "Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency."
So, quite literally, the spouse denying sex would be to blame, according to the above passage. So, how can one deny sex to the other spouse and then also condemn them if they in turn react to it? The defrauded spouse is then between a rock and a hard place. And, I would say then, the majority of the blame would lay square on the shoulders of the spouse who refuses to have sex or be intimate with the other, whether we are talking men or women doing this.. As men also do such uncaring acts to their wives.
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