Reference Article: http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=134
- James Dobson believes that if one uses internet pornography regularly, you will not be satisfied with their spouse.
I can tell you from personal experience the exact opposite is the case, when one knows pornography is not a sin. However, in a disfunctional marriage, where you are hiding your porn addiction and your spouse is against it, this can lead to sexual problems within your marriage.
- Confusing sexual desire with addiction.
Since such desires as lust for food or sex are part of our biological make up, we can conclude that all Christian groups that pigeon-hole all sexual thoughts into the "sin" category, as Gnostic in approaching sex. As the deem all sexual desire to be sinful, showing its roots in the belief that all physical desire is sinful. Often, Christians misunderstand Matthew 5:27-28 and assume Jesus also thought this way regarding the topic. Yet, nothing can be further from the truth.
- Men having sexual desire which is above the standard missionary style with their wife is common and not sinful
(St. Thomas Aquinas made famous the missionary style when he said it was the only natural non-lustful way to have sex). God designed men and women with an imagination. For Christians to spell-bind God's Word, so that it fights God's design, they are only allowing for further problems within their relationships. Men or women often do things in secret, because they are afraid of what their spouse will think. However, with the right mindset regarding sex, we discover, that it is not sinful to have fantasies and once both partners know, it makes it easier for them to be open with each other, rather than hiding their secret sexual desires.
- The Christian Church is ignoring the obvious: Christians are not satisfied sexually.
However, instead of viewing the problem in plain sight in front of them, they rather tell themselves it is sinful nature trying to get the best of them and somehow convince themselves of some ideal they can acheive, where they are required to avoid all erotic imagery, stories, fantasies, etc, yet have an adventure in the bedroom with their spouse. So, you are trained not to think about sex, but then told to have an adventure with your wife. Is it me, or is that contradictory? So, I am not talking about cheating, but rather having an unrestrained sexual adventure together with the concept of loving your wife. So, if both of you like the idea of watching pornography, do it. If both of you like the idea of having sex in risky places, try it. If you want to try all manner of sex positions, go for it.
- Because of this internal fight within Christian men and women, they find themselves focused on their own "sexual problem"
This, in turn, consumes their time and effort that could be spent on things much more relevant, like reading the Bible, doing ministry, praying, or any good secular or Christian work. However, since pastors do not like to have an opinion that "rocks the boat" we find all pastors condemning just about all sexual desire or activity, minus missionary style with your wife once a month.
- I do believe that pornography should be controlled.
Whether we are talking about your usage within your lifestyle, or within society itself. As scripture says, prostitution on a rampant level can make a land to fall into wickedness. So the point is to view pornography more like "alcohol". For some people, alcohol can be a death drink (those who have easily created addictions). For example, an alcoholic should do all in his power to avoid alcohol at all costs. This is the same for someone who is truly addicted to pornography. When I say "truly addicted", I am refering to someone who spends all his money and time on it and literally is controlled by it. For such a person as this, he should avoid all pornography.
- However, for the rest of the population, we can use it in moderation, as we use alcohol.
Not to get drunk, but maybe for enjoyment. The point is to have self control when using. And to not violate or hurt others in the process.
- Also, lets not confuse pornography with other riskier behaviours, such as hooking up, clubing, swinging, etc.
As you can imagine, these have all the more potential of addiction within them and violations of your relationships with people you know, friends, family, even your church. The point is, to have self control, to keep your head on straight. God's ideal is one man and one woman, in holy matramony, without divorce. But, this is not something that is required by God, but more of his ideal design. However, this does not infer pigeon-holing your sexual desire or worrying if it is a sin to watch pornography with your wife, or have a nice sex filled vacation, or doing something daring (threesome?) as having sex in hidden public places.
- The problem with a lot of the church fathers was that those who seemed to talk the most about sex and made the most restrictions, where men who had the least amount of experience with marriage, sex, etc.
They tended to be monks, who looked for reasons to avoid sex. As they were in the business of keeping themselves free from a sex life. As you can imagine, such a thing would be difficult and for some, they would have to find ways to make the Bible say every type of sex under the sun is a sin.
- Also, some of these monks were in actuality getting sexual pleasure
(Not directly, but more subconsciously). When some would write elaborate rule books against sex, they had to be consumed in thought to make such books, thus appeasing their own sex drive, in sort of a odd twisted way. Maybe it was a way to coax themselves to avoid sex, by talking about it all the time.
- With any other bodily function, do we consider it a sin?
Is it a sin to eat? A sin to sleep? A sin to fart? Silly questions, wouldn't you say? However, there is a bodily function you do consider a sin. Your sexual drive. Isn't that odd? Why is that the case? Perhaps you have some incorrect underlying assumptions. Rather than seeking an out, maybe your whole theology on the topic is in error. Scratch the whole thing, throw it out the window, and open your Bible for some true study of God's Word. Learn where and why the church got off track on this topic.
- I have come to learn that the Protestant church, along with its sister, the Catholic church, have gnostic influences within their midst.
Frankly, I think the protestant church has it worse. I learned this from studying the early fathers and early doctrines. It is amazing how often the protestants tend to make the same decision on a doctrine as the gnostic. Maybe not for the same reasons, but there is a familiarity to its thinking. That the physical can not save you. That the physical is not good. That terminology has been over "physicalized" and lost its spiritual meaning. Honestly, the protestant church is on dangerous ground, forsaking the early church teachings on many topics, including baptism, the eucharist and others. Yes, many protestants do have the truth, but you would be amazed at how many do not. So, is it just mental belief in God that saves you? This is called gnosis (knowledge). What was the lie in the Garden of Eden? If you eat from the "Tree of Knowledge" you will become gods. This is how the Gnostics believed you were "saved" *(by knowledge). On the contrary, it is a living faith in Christ that saves you, not mere knowledge of the topic. One that has repentance and conviction, not some mental ascent and a prayer you said one time back 10 years ago. With baptism, it is God washing you spiritually of your sins, not a physical act. So those who try to divorce baptism from gospel preaching do so erroniously. And with the eucharist, protestants often say it is symbolic. Well the gnostics also rejected the bread and wine representing Christ. Yes, the Catholic church goes to far with transubstantiation, however, the protestant goes the opposite direction into error saying it is only symbolic. Rather the early church taught that Christ spiritually is represented in the eucharist bread and wine. Further, with the sex topic, we find the gnostic view of all physical pleasure is evil. So, what you have been taught is gnostic in nature. I am sorry, but it is true.
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