Are you Struggling with Porn Addiction?
- A Different Perspective and Solution

Today, while driving my car, I sensed God telling me to write an article about porn addiction and to write to those who struggle with it. While listening to God, I thought to myself, just how painful it can be for some men and women dealing with this topic.

You have done it one hundred times: you tell yourself, "I will never do it again! All I need to do is make a commitment in my mind and stand fast." But, a few days later, you find yourself once again, in front of the TV or computer, watching porn.

Am I wrong, or do I have you pegged? You know, I am also describing myself from about 7 years ago. Struggling with porn and feeling ashamed. How can I now open my Bible after doing that? How can I go to church? Am I a hypocrite or is this normal? How can I even tell myself I am victorious in Christ or preach the gospel when I just watched pornography?

Yes, so many have dealt with this. You, the pastor, reading this page. You, the young Christian, new to the faith. Old Christians, esteemed in the church. You, daughter of God, yes you also, I know you watched it as well.

So, what is the solution to our problem? Perhaps you are misidentifying the problem. You have tried all these "get sanctified quick" plans online. Do you feel more sanctified with regards to pornography? Are you set free from pornography yet? Do you feel like their words actually apply to real life? Did they solve your problem, or are you back at square one?

Yes, admit it, their plans do not work. Their schemes do not work. No matter how many times they beat you over the head with your Bible. No matter how many times your wife looks at you disgusted or threatens you. No matter how many times you tell the church you have been set free. Yes, you relapser. I know you did it as well. Including you singers, preachers and teachers all esteemed in the church, you are no different than us.

So what are you doing wrong? I will tell you very simply:

1. First, you assume that Matthew 5:27-28 is saying you can not think sexual thoughts or view erotic imagery of any sort, when it actually does not say this in the original greek. See for yourself here.
2. Second, you assume the Bible is against all forms of pornography, when you will find, God is not against all forms of eroticism and activities, as I demonstrate here.
3. Third, because you have believed this way for so long and because everyone around you unaminously says it is the truth, you have been brainwashed partially and now even read the Bible with this seared into your mind.
4. Fourth, you need a standard when approaching pornography. Rather than "cutting it off", you should control it, as God would want you to control it, so as to avoid evil materials and activities.

You might be saying to yourself, "Hey, but wait a second here. It is impossible for you to be right.". Please, read my articles linked above and then after you have read them all, come back and tell me if you think I am right or wrong, OK?

You have been taught something close to the truth, but it is not the truth. It is like looking at a low definition picture with pixelation. When reading the Bible in English, you can not see the finer details of scripture. You can not see all the detail, because of the blurry spots when you zoom in. In my articles on this website, I show you, with clarity, what is really going on in God's word. And to do this, we have to consider a few important things:

1. First, God's Word was written in Greek and Hebrew.
2. Second, the definitions of English words in the Bible do not often perfectly represent the definitions of the actual words in the Greek and Hebrew manuscripts.
3. Third, understanding the Old Testament's foundation on sex and marriage thoroughly, helps you to understand what the New Testament is saying regarding this topic. (you can't skim over polygamy, harlotry, etc)
4. Fourth, prayer and listening to God's voice is crutial. You may not learn everything over night. It could even take years. It took me 10 years, listening to God's voice to figure this all out. This is due to the seemingly solid paradigm commonly taught, almost unanimous belief it is correct within conservative circles and the illusive factor of English vs Greek and Hebrew definitions.

This is about renewing your mind with the Word of God. Not your church's teaching. Not your pastor's thoughts. Not the viewpoints you see around you. Rather, it is you, God and the Bible. It is about you getting serious about your studies, which will lead you to the truth. Of course, you must have the foundation of a good church, good teachers, good leaders, but remember, they are human and can make mistakes. They do not know everything and are even wrong sometimes about things as basic as sex. They are not perfect, just like you are not perfect.

To make it clear, I will just explain the nitty gritty, if you have chosen not to click on the links above:

1. Matthew 5:27-28 really says that you can not covet your neighbor's wife. It does not say you can not covet any woman. The term adultery means "unlawful intercourse with another man's wife". It does not mean, "unlawful intercourse with anyone other than your spouse". Further, Jesus is using the 10th of the Ten Commandments to show the theology of intent behind the 7th Commandment. Further, the term "lust" is "covet" without any attachments to sex or sexual desire. Also, lust has to "conceive" to bring forth sin. So it is not merely thinking on a woman that is the sin. It is the desire with "intent to take". So, Jesus was saying if you truly desire to take another man's wife, you have sinned in your heart. He is not refering to sexual thoughts, as those are just temptations (if about another man's wife), which can lead to sin (desiring to take).
2. If you see my study on prostitution in the Bible, I harmonize all of scripture on this topic. A married whore is sinning. A temple prostitute is sinning. But a non-married harlot is not sinning by having sex before marriage (assuming she is not under her father's care/lordship/house). This is why the "harlot" Rahab is in Heaven. This is why Sampson is not condemned for sleeping with a harlot and does not loose his strength (as he did not break his covenant with God). Sampson lost his strength only after his hair was cut (which was part of his Nazarite vow). I cover virtually every scripture in the entire Bible and harmonize them all and make sense of all those odd stories in the Old Testament here.
3. King Solomon had 1000 wives. 700 wives, 300 concubines. In Song of Solomon, the Shulamite is his 141st wife. In Ecclesiastes he says he pursues pleasure to seek it out. Now, ask yourself this question: "If I was King of the largest country, had 700 wives and 300 concubines and I sought out pleasure to know of it, would I have gotten it on with more than one woman?" Now, don't lie to yourself, but be brutally honest. I believe for about 99.999% of the male population, the answer would be "Yes".
4. Other than Matthew 5:27-28, what other verse says you can not think sexual thoughts? Now that I have shown the error with this interpretation, what is keeping you from thinking sexual thoughts?

Regarding the way many ministries deal with the pornography topic, it reminds me of a little child trying to put that square block in the circular hole. It just does not work. Similar also is how many of these weightloss diets you see around you seem to fail.

Now, maybe you think my explanation above or in my articles is not enough to convince you or you really just honestly want to get away from pornography. Well, I have another route that works. I can tell you one highly effective way that worked for me. I went two straight years without seeing one nude photo or one movie. All I did was give away my TV. Of course in this day and age, I am guessing you would have to give away your TV, computer and maybe cell phone. Or, maybe, on a lesser approach, you could get rid of all ability with cable to watch porn, get rid of your DVD player, get rid of your internet access, or have it setup with one of those porn-free control programs, get rid of any cell phone with internet ability and/or capability to look at photos or video. But the point is, you can not trust your will power and you have to take away your ability to conviently obtain such materials. You can not trust yourself and you have to remove all such things from your home, office or that you carry on your person. Its like an alcoholic with a stash of beer or vodka. You have to remove all of it from your enviroment, for you to succeed. Now, I had zero accountability partners and accomplished it. So, I know, if you remove everything from your enviroment, you also can accomplish this, if you set your mind to it. Your will power with a porn free enviroment is enough. Although, an accountability partner would add another layer of protection. Further, filling your day with other activities that would be a good replacement. Something that would relax you, relieve stress, etc.

Now, honestly, I am not asking you to do the above. You can take a different approach, whether single or not. Because the fact is, the Bible does not forbid you from using all forms of erotic materials. Now, many Christian wives (95%) would be against you using pornography, yet 20% of them use it themselves, from various statistical surveys. So, in actuality, a couple could potentially use them together. Many attempt to say it is cheating on your spouse. However, it can actually be used to spice up your sex life between the two of you. Many would not go for this, however, the argument it is cheating is like saying to someone you killed another person when you watched Rambo shoot a bad guy on Rambo III. It just does not make a whole lot of sense, unless the spouse is using porn as a wedge in their marriage, to cause division. In a situation where it is causing problems in the marriage, I believe it would be best for it to be out of the home or restricted to something both agreed upon. Of course, often, Christian wives have an incorrect viewpoint on what the Bible says regarding this topic, so showing her some of my articles could break the ice. As, maybe she would also enjoy using them, if she knew they were not a sin to use. The marriage bond is of ultimate relevance here, so always seek God's will and His ways, rather than self interest. Now, if you are single, you are not cheating on anyone. This one argument saying that you are cheating on your future spouse is incorrect, seeing you may never even marry and further, you are not currently in any marriage contract. It is like me saying that I am breaking a business contract, when I have not even entered into any contract. So, it is a rediculous argument with a platonic, victorian or idealistic undertone. Now, the Bible does restrict use to certain forms of erotic or pornographic materials, but it is likely different from what you have been taught. It is not a sin to look at a nude woman. You can look at a photo and masturbate without sinning. If Sampson can stay "holy" within his Nazarite vow, and sleep with a non-married whore, without sinning, you surely can look at a nude woman without sinning (I prove this controversial conclusion half way down the page on this article). As I clearly stated above, there is nothing in the Bible that would say you can not do this. Now, lets say you say to yourself, "Well, what if she was sinning when she made the video?" I would have to ask you, when you watched a good Christian movie, is it not possible that the people who made it sinned when doing a scene? So, what people are doing within a movie, as long as it can be a representation of a good act, it is not a sin to watch. Any food or sexual materials can be sanctified by the "Word of God and Prayer". Lets say you are watching a video and lets say the woman is married and you did not know. And she is sleeping with some guy. Is it a sin for you to watch? I would say no, because it represents potentially a single man and a single woman having sex or perhaps better yet, a married couple. Adultery is, of course, a sin, but what she did could represent something that was not a sin. So, it something that could represent a woman and a man who are married making love. Do you see what I am saying? I discuss this here.

Now, you might ask yourself, "Well what about all those crazy porn movies? You know, 3 girls with 1 guy, 4 girls having sex, etc. Are not those sinful?" Well, actually, if you can think of a potential situation where it would not be a sin, it would not be a sin to watch (however, maybe it is wise to avoid). For instance, could King Solomon get it on with 3 girls? Yes, of course(and likely did). Could he make 4 of his concubines have sex together? Of course. Do I think he did it? Would you do it if you were him? Yes, of course. Is lesbianism a sin? The modern movement and lifestyle is not good and is against God's Word (i.e. ~ women marrying, promoting gay movement, anti-men, etc), however there is no prohibition against women having sex with women (see here). So, seeing there was no rule against women lying with women (there is one against men with men), King Solomon had nothing stopping him from trying such things. I created a framework here on how to approach pornography.

So, I don't think the problem here is your sinful nature. I think the problem here is your doctrine. I think the reason why you keep failing is because you are misidentifying your God given sexual desires for "the flesh" and then trying to fight your God given sexual desires. So, you are pitting God's Word against God's sexual design. Nobody wins in such a circumstance. Think about it? Its like me telling you the Bible says it is a sin to eat or drink. Good luck trying to follow that rule, as God designed you to eat and drink and to enjoy it. I discuss this more here.

So, my advice to you would be to stop torturing yourself and realize it is not a sin to like nude photos, movies, etc. And rather, to control your use of porn to something God would "permit". Of course, most of the porn out there is not good. You have a lot of odd and abberant porn. I discuss the types to avoid here.

Now, if you are still with me here, consider this: I have erotic materials on this website. Just click the "Photo/Video" link at the top of this page. Its all free, of course. I believe my website is the first significant Christian-based erotic materials website on the internet. I am sure it will not be the last, now that I have revealed how scripture really treats this topic. I am a little sarcastic about this topic, because I believe many good intentioned Christians have led other Christians astray and have actually caused damage to their sex life as a result. Something God designed, they have pigeon-holed into their viewpoint. This is why many Christians view all sex as evil, subconsciously, and have trouble within their marriages as a result. I believe the idea that not all erotic materials are evil and that God encourages healthy sexual desire, including fantasy and sexual thoughts, fosters a more godly and well balanced viewpoint on sex for Christians. I believe Song of Solomon alone proves many conservatives are missing the mark on this topic.