Guidelines for Other Online/Offline Erotic Activities

I have noticed a larger trend towards erotic dating, voyeurism, chat and other related activities. I believe most of these activities are dangerous and you should consider not only the moral factor, but also the addictive aspects and potential problems such activities could cause. This also goes for related activities such as swinging, clubbing, meeting strangers online to have sex with and so on.

I believe these activities are in a whole other category when compared to something as simple as pornography. As these activities involve other people interacting with you on an erotic level. First thing to consider is that they have a whole different spin when put in the light of scripture than pornography. As stated in this article and others, some pornography is permissible. So, when I say some pornography is permissible, it does not mean you can watch whatever you like and it surely doesn't mean you can be careless and sleep with strangers or do other risky online and offline activities.

1. Hooking up with Strangers Online with Erotic/Sexual Motives - Whether it is chatting with some person, watching webcams with interactivity, voyeurism with interactivity, you doing webcams, etc. These activities very often are sinful and most of them are risky/dangerous. Of course, you can give me some benign example where you may point out one activity done in a certain manner is not a sin. However, I think it is obvious what I am trying to convey here. Just as there is that small percentage of technically permissible activities, it doesn't mean you should do it, as it could potentially lead to sinful activities. Use common sense here. If you are married, almost unanimously, you are cheating on your spouse if you are doing these activities. I am not saying 100% of all of this activity is a sin, but I am saying, it would be very wise to assume 90% is and to avoid most of it.
2. Clubbing, meeting up with strangers for sex, one night stands, etc. - If you are married, you are virtually always sinning in such circumstances, as generally speaking, you are doing it behind your spouses back.. Now, if somehow by an amazing coincidence your wife is OK with the idea of you having more than one woman in your life, theoretically, there are situations where it is not a sin (as it is not then adultery or violating your covenant with your wife). However, if you live in America, it would be unlikely your wife would go for that (better luck being struck by lightning).. Otherwise, doing it behind your spouses back, you are destroying your marriage and breaking your covenant with her.. NOW, if you are single, as you can see already, this is not a good habit to develop. For when you do get married, this type of habit can lead you to a reckless lifestyle that leads to other sin. Unless you somehow marry a woman who would go for the occassional threesome (good luck with that). Basically, not a good lifestyle overall and God would desire for you to be stable and save yourself for marriage. Pornography can be a good outlet or maybe a little playfulness with the girlfriend (while keeping your head on straight and not going too far).
3. Swinging, Sharing your wife, etc - Now this one is adultery, if it involves your wife sleeping with other men. And swinging is basically swapping wives, partners for recreational sex. This is sin. I have heard the arguments from these liberal or liberated Christian websites as they call themselves.. They claim that if you give "permission" to the other man to sleep with your wife, it somehow makes it OK.. Meaning, she is your "property" taking the Old Testament's verbage and claiming that since she is your property, it would be like lending your tools or car to a neighbor. This is incorrect logic. How do I know this? Because adultery is defined as "lying with your neighbor's wife". That IS the actual definition. Click here to see. Now, techinically, it is not a sin for a man to sleep with another woman other than his wife (assuming she is not married and assuming his wife would not object).. So there are situations where this is permitted, as polygamy is not a sin. So a threesome between two women and a man would not be a sin, given that neither of the two women are married to some other guy. May seem confusing, but look at the Old Testament. Polygamy is not a sin. All the saints had more than one wife often, concubines, etc. So, a man can sleep with more than just his wife. So, this activity would be permitted, yet the idea of a married women sleeping with more than one man is not permitted.
4. What about meeting a person for long term relationship through an erotic portal - Theoretically, this could occur and this would be that small fraction that would be OK. However, you have to ask yourself, "What are my true intentions?" And if you are married, why are you looking for another long term relationship? If you are married, you are to be faithful to your wife. If you are not married, I would suggest some other means in meeting a woman to be with. There are plenty of better ways to meet a Christian woman, such as church or normal online dating websites, college, the mall, etc.. However, I can see how meeting women online can be a better means, than offline, in some circumstances. Yet, meating online can be done through dating sites, etc.
5. Massage Parlors, Strip Joints, Etc - Many of these type of places are not exactly the wisest to visit. With strip joints, it could be acceptable if you have your head on straight and you do not start coveting the women stripping. As Proverbs says regarding some women, For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. What is this refering to? It is refering to adulterous woman, women who forsake God, etc. It is refering to women who can ensnare your heart, ensnare your wallet, ensnare your time. It does not refer to all strippers, as some are not married and/or are not bad people. However, it has the addictive aspects of alcohol. And, alcohol, can steal your soul as that one famous song "Red Red Wine" says(says the same thing in Proverbs also). Remember, 9.5 times out of 10, these women do not care for you and are only concerned about money. Further, some of them are married and it is very unwise for you to be enraptured by a married woman and to lust after her. As scripture says, this is a temptation, and as you know, all men fall in temptation if not careful. Consider even strong followers of God, such as King David. You know he went to the roof of his palace more than once to watch Bathesheba. And what happened? He sinned in his heart, when he decided to have sex with another man's wife.. And what then happened? His child died, he lost his Kingdom for a time. All of this, because he lusted after another man's wife and committed the sin in his heart when he decided to go after her.. IN other words, going to strip joints, massage parlors, etc can be putting yourself in the fire and expecting to somehow come out not burnt. I would look at it like a bar. It can become something that consumes you, if you are not careful. You may succeed for a short time, but are you fooling yourself? Its kind of like the drunk trying to tell himself he has control over his drinking.